And I’m sorry. I’m just angry is all.” His interest perked up a little at that. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “I get angry,” he offered. She said, “He’s been gone for almost a year. It is hard to let go.” Silence. “I know about that,” he replied finally. “Or maybe it’s easy and I just don’t want to let go.” “Or don’t know how to let go. It’s not easy.” She said, “None of this is easy.” “No.” “Are you divorced?” she asked. Should he tell her? How should he tell her? “No, my wife died,” he said. After a pause he added, “She’s dead.” She said, “I’m sorry for your loss,” and gave him the requisite head tilt and the smile, the generic gesture he resented so, and disappointment began to rise up in him. He feared the day would turn out to be another missed connection. She’d talk about her husband, then it would be his turn, he’d talk about his dead wife. The conversation would stutter, then stall, and they’d patiently wait until it was time for the kids to finish their play-date and they could all get on. Now it was Francis's turn to grill me as to what happened with the DEA and sheriff out at the ranch. When I finished, he agreed with my mother and her statement that I needed to watch what I say as I was getting too old to act like a snot nosed kid.Thursday was more of the same getting things where I wanted them in my room along with going with my mother and my sisters for our yearly shopping trip for clothes. Just like the year before I got the wardrobe I wanted only now I had discovered that after a year of lifting I was up to a respectable five foot eight inches in height. My weight was another matter because instead of being the lean bean pole I was last year I had filled out.My new physique did not pass unnoticed by my sisters because Sherrie, the quieter of the two was standing waiting for me to emerge from the bathroom. Opening the door, I stepped out and my sister's first words were, "Oh my GOD!" as she looked me up and down. Thankfully, I did have the towel around my waist.
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